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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Reflections: Motherhood

*First of series of personal insights

Not a girl, Not yet a woman

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I used to think I had the answers to everything
But now I know
That life doesn’t always go my way
Feels like I’m caught in the middle
That’s when I realize.

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I’m not a girl, not yet a woman
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl.

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There is no need to protect me
Its time that I
Learn to face up to this on my own
I’ve seen so much more than you know now
So don’t tell me to shut my eyes

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But if you look at me closely
You will see it in my eyes
This girl will always find her way.

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(I’m not a girl) I’m not a girl, don’t tell me what to believe
(Not yet a woman) I’m just trying to find the woman in me, yeah
(All I need is time) Oh, all I need is time
(A moment that is mine) That’s mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl, not yet a woman, no, no
All I need is time, a moment that is mine
While I’m in between
I’m not a girl, ooh
Not yet a woman.

as a 20 year old mother, time has fast-forwarded and

brought me to living the responsibilities of a 30 year old

and older. this is hard for me. I am missing on the good

times the world can offer me. going out to bars, eating

sushi, shopping nonstop, traveling, and all things that a

single woman should be rewarding herself. i am limited to

doing those things because i have a child to worry and think

about now. there’s someone depending on me and needs my

attention day and night; all week.forever. i can’t just leave

my son to anyone, even if they’re willing, and go out and

have some fun. these were my worries at first. come on, i

was just ending my teenage years and really itching for

adulthood. but then again, yes I’m not a girl, not yet a

woman. I’m still in between. i can still have fun and be able

to take care of my son and give him his needs. i owe it to

myself. if I’m not happy, how can i have the energy to put up

with the hardships of motherhood? the key is balance. yes I

made a mistake for not waiting (and not using protection!

lol) but i believe that’s my fate. i just have to deal with it

now and move on. =D

IMG_1164I love my son. He means the world to me. i can’t imagine my

life without him anymore. <333

1 Comment:

mzkrystall said...

awww ur son is cuute, and girrl love this look!! ur skin is flawwwwwlesss! love itt =]

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